


what are you waiting for? (i can't say no to you)

by flyingthesky



Category: Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance
Genre: Community: no_tags, M/M, Road Trips, Summer of Like, are a metaphor for going steady, technically there is no road trip in the fic itself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-01-18
Updated: 2011-01-18
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:47:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,157
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21514864
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingthesky/pseuds/flyingthesky
Summary: "Hey," Pete says, on an otherwise normal day, "we should go on a roadtrip."
Relationships: Mikey Way/Pete Wentz
Kudos: 5





	what are you waiting for? (i can't say no to you)

"Hey," Pete says, on an otherwise normal day, "we should go on a roadtrip."

Mikey finishes whatever he was texting and looks over at Pete, who has flopped down next to him. He's not sure if Pete is serious or not, because sometimes Pete says things he doesn't really mean, so Mikey rolls his eyes and elbows Pete in the stomach.

"Our job is a roadtrip, Pete. You know, traveling across the country and playing music to teenage girls."

"No." Pete sighs. "I meant like. You, me, a car, and maybe a map."

_Oh_, Mikey thinks. He doesn't say _yes_ though, because maybe saying _yes_ would cement the thing between them, whatever it was. That would take them out of hazy gray and into a terrifying space Mikey doesn't like to think about. Won't think about. Instead, Mikey straddles Pete and makes him forget the question he's asked by kissing it away, slow and torturous.

There's fumbling, hands hastily fitted into jeans, and the desperation that colors all sex on tour. Mikey knows they have a day off and maybe an actual bed soon, so he can do this properly. That's not the scary part, though, because Mikey has done that before. Mikey has fucked people and been fucked and none of it mattered. _This_ matters somehow. _Pete_ matters somehow.

He doesn't want to think about that either, so he pushes the thought away, tries to forget about it and focuses on licking his hand clean. Focuses on the moment, not the future, like he always has. Always will.

It doesn't help any, because Mikey keeps thinking the same thoughts. _I like you_, he thinks as Pete walks away. _I would fight dragons for you_, he thinks as he watches Pete perform. _I want to be the Buttercup to your Wesley_, he thinks as Pete presses him to the side of the bus and kisses him.

"Hey," Pete says again, "we should go on a roadtrip, Mikeyway."

"I think I'd murder you before the end of the trip," Mikey says, which is _not_ an actual answer, "and they'd never find the body."

Because it's Pete, he knows that Mikey doesn't actually mean it. Knows that Mikey is just avoiding the question, and lets him do it. Lets Mikey sink to his knees and suck him off. Lets Mikey pretend that this is just another in a long line of hook-ups. Mikey appreciates that, appreciates that Pete is willing to let him sort out everything for himself and doesn't push.

Gerard worries about that, or about Mikey, or maybe about life in general. It's hard to tell with Gerard sometimes.

Either way, Gerard has started making frowny faces in Mikey's general direction. Mikey, through brotherly powers of intuition, has assumed that the frowny faces are really meant to be directed at Pete but Gerard is scared of Pete and Pete's tattoos—nevermind that Frank is covered in them and Gerard makes out with him all the time. Mikey sighs and flops down next to Gerard when he gets tired of the frowny faces.

"Hey, Gee."

"Hey," Gerard says, warm and loving, "Mikey, are you happy?"

Mikey has to think about the answer to that, because in some ways he's happy and in other ways he's anxious and frustrated and other feelings generally not associated with happy. That's mostly his own damn fault, though, so Mikey shrugs.

"I think I could be," Mikey says finally, "if I let myself be."

Gerard makes another frowny face. "Don't be afraid of going for what you want, Mikey. Be afraid of what might happen if you don't."

_Be afraid of what might happen if you don't._ There is a tiny voice in Mikey's head that sounds suspiciously like Gerard repeating that over and over and over again for whatever subconscious reason. Mikey sighs and mutters that it must be the result of spending too much time in a van with his brother, these little voices in his head that sound like Gerard, but he knows that isn't true. He knows that the words are really bouncing around in his head because it's what Mikey should do. He shouldn't be afraid.

"Mikeyway," Pete whispers against his skin, "come on a roadtrip with me."

Mikey closes his eyes. "You'll get tired of me."

He is afraid. He is afraid of exactly that happening, Pete getting tired of him and moving on. He is afraid of time and distance and long stretches of highway. He is afraid of what he wants. It's never been difficult to make choices before, but it's difficult now. It's Pete's fault. Pete makes everything complicated, makes everything difficult beyond all reasoning. _I want to go on a roadtrip with you,_ Mikey thinks when he sees the flicker of sadness in Pete's eyes, _only my saving throws have been kind of shit so far._

Pete doesn't really bring it up again, although he does make Mikey hats out of the roadside attraction pamphlets they have in gas stations. Mikey wears them, but they always end up forgotten among shed clothes and stolen kisses. Gerard still frowns at Mikey, and Mikey always avoids Gerard's looks, because he is _afraid_. He's afraid of what might happen if he doesn't go for what he wants, but he's just as afraid of what will happen if he does.

There has never, ever been anything that Mikey wanted so much as this. He doesn't even want to have superpowers as much as he wants Pete to stay with him and take him on roadtrips to the stupid dino walks or ghost hunts or what-the-fuck-ever, it doesn't even matter. It's Pete that matters.

"Mikey," Gerard says one day, out of the blue, "you know that Pete isn't going to end up in a fridge if you admit that you like him, right?"

"That," Mikey says, shaking his head, "was a terrible analogy. I'm not Kyle Rayner, Gee."

Gerard sighs. "I just mean that nothing bad will happen if you go for what you want."

"I know," Mikey says quietly, "I'm just having problems applying that knowledge."

He watches Pete play, thinks _I wish I could freeze time._ Thinks _I would trade every superpower to have you._ Thinks _Be afraid of what might happen if you don't._ Thinks _I probably screwed this up._ Thinks _I feel like I'm in a fucking chick flick._ Thinks _What am I waiting for?_

"Hey," Mikey says to Pete once he comes off the stage, "we should go on a roadtrip."

It stops Pete in his tracks for a moment, and Mikey panics because what if he was wrong? What if he's screwed everything up? What if Pete doesn't understand what Mikey is really trying to say? But Pete just smiles, slings an arm around Mikey's shoulders, and pulls him close.

"Okay," Pete says, "where do you want to take a roadtrip to, Mikeyway?"

"Doesn't matter." Mikey smiles. "So long as you're driving."


End file.
